THERE IS PURPOSE IN YOUR PAIN

So often when we are full of hurt and pain our first question is “Why Me?” Not always do we get the answer right away, it could be days, weeks, months and even years. It is only when we widen the lenses to see beyond where we are, that we see the full purpose. When we are in the midst of something or are so overwhelmed with emotion it is hard to see, hear or feel anything other than the hurt and anger that we carry. During those times our focus is solely on trying to numb the pain, make it go away by any means necessary. Looking back at what could have been done differently, said differently, the timing of it all. Why me??? Why do I have to go through this? Is it because I am a bad person? Is it because I am weak? Is it because I make poor decisions? Just why??? Honestly, it could be any number of things, but whatever it is, don’t stay stuck there. Definitely deal with the why, but most importantly deal with the WHAT. What must I do with this?

In my life I have dealt with some very deep pain from being abandoned by my father, rejected by his mother, abused physically, emotionally and mentally by former lovers and supposed to be friends, and for many years I asked why? I felt as though I was not good enough, I couldn’t have been, even my father didn’t want me. That way of thinking caused a trickle effect that put me in some very dark places within. I blamed myself for what other people did to me and thought that whatever I get I deserve. Oh how I beat myself up! I should have been smarter, I should be stronger, the list goes on and on of what I should have done differently. While those things may have been true, the pain that other people caused was not at all my fault. So yes, I made poor decisions, but that in no way gave anyone the right to abuse me. Should I have been stronger in not accepting the foolishness that others were passing out, most definitely, that still in no way gives anyone the right to treat you like you are less than. It took me some time but, once I figured out my WHY’S and dealt with them head on, I was able to focus on my WHAT’S and use my pain for purpose.

Once I started asking God, “OK. Now what do I do with all this pain and hurt?”, I saw that all that I had been through was not just for me. My experiences are to be able to help others get through their pain. If I can do it, so can they. My purpose, our purpose, is to help others find their way back from those lost and dark places by sharing our experiences, showing them the kindness and compassion that we longed for when we were going through. Our gifts may be through writing, it may be through song, it could be through art, it could be through speaking, it could be through teaching, or maybe starting a movement or a non-profit. Whatever form it is, just do it. Do not allow shame and pride to get in the way of helping others because you think you are exposing yourself or someone else. Do not feel pressured, for you will know when it is your time to put pen to paper, mic in hand, paint to canvas, words in the atmosphere, offering the class or writing the business plan. Be encouraged and if you haven’t already found it, look for your WHAT. Do not let your pain be in vain, let it be filled and overflowing with purpose.