BEAUTY FOR ASHES

Isaiah 61: 3 – To all who mourn in Israel, he will give a crown of beauty for ashes; a joyous blessing instead of mourning, festive praise instead of despair. In their righteousness, they will be like great oaks that the Lord has planted for his own glory.

For many years I didn’t deal with depression, it dealt with me. There were times that I could not even get out of the bed for days at a time. I was unable to care for myself or my children. I was hopeless, and it was hard for me to see a brighter day. Although I never attempted suicide, I no longer wanted to live, not like this. I wanted it to be over for good because I was tired of being on this roller coaster of a life. But GOD!!!

It was when I confronted it head on that things begin to change for me. When I started to feel myself spiraling downward, I cut if off. I got to the root of what the trigger was and dealt with that. I did my best to not put a band-aid over the situation but to deal with it and pull it up at the root if needed. Identifying the issue allows you to learn how to deal with and get through it. Please know that it may not always be pretty or feel good, but it will be well worth it.

2019 presented to be a very rough year for me and my family. As a mother you want to protect your children from any and everything, but it is hard to protect them from themselves and their decisions. Through the madness I found myself slipping back to those days of deep depression. But this time things were just a little different. Yes, I had my days where it was extremely hard to breath let alone do anything else, but I did not stay down for long. I gave myself time to regroup but I refused to stay in that dark place. This time the difference is that I had fully surrendered my life to Christ. Over the years of feeding the Spirit, when things did get hard, I was able to withstand the blows. My knees buckled but I did not fold.

Today, I still have my moments of fear and doubt, but they are cut off at the knees with a quickness! When something negative pops in my head I do my best to quickly replace it with something positive. Now, it may take me a few times before I can get my bearings straight, but I recognize, call it out and move forward. I also make sure to surround myself with people that will hold me accountable and not allow me to stay in a funk.

While I am still dealing with my personal and family issues, I refuse to allow any of it to take my joy or my peace! All my days are not filled with rainbows and unicorns, but they are filled with love and hope and that right there is good enough for me. When things get rough, I remember that it is all working for my good. On the other side of this is greatness and victory.

I encourage you to deal with things head on. Identify the issue and make the necessary changes. Sometimes it will be the issue, but it will always be you. Change your mindset, change your heart, and you will start to see things in a different light. Pray God grant you the serenity to accept the things that you cannot change, the courage to change the things that you can and the wisdom to know the difference.

~Peace and Blessings